Why do you waste your time on me?

There's a particular student at my high school who has been on my heart for years. I knew her when she went to the middle school and often saw her in the office in trouble for one thing or another. She had a dead look on her face. I may have introduced her in an earlier blog but I can't remember which it was. In any case, my heart went out to her and I began praying for her when she came into the office or across my mind.

It is three years later and by the grace of God my prayers have been effectual to build up a friendship between the two of us. I have had the privilege of many deep and gratifying conversations with her in which I have played the roll of teacher, encourager, mentor and brother. All the while God has poured out His Spirit upon us in such a way that even though she does not know God, she sees the peace that resides in His character. She leaves our talks uplifted and thankful with a shining countenance. What in our conversations can act as such a healing balm? I asked myself this question during one of our last conversations and was struck with the simplicity of the truth. It is God' s kindness towards sinners that lifts us up! I made sure to emphasize this truth to her (and it's conditions which I describe in the last paragraph).

One time she looked at me with confused and troubled eyes and asked me the question from my title. "Why do you waste your time on me, Evan?" I think my facial expression mirrored her own because in no way did I feel as if I was wasting my time. I simply told her that I was extending to her the same love that God had extended to me when He forgave me of my sins. Still, to those who don't know God this love makes no sense. Love for one's enemies is never given apart from the love of Jesus. Not even in the best of families or amongst the closest of friends. People would beg to differ with my statement of course, but I offer up as my definition of God's love as, "a love that seeks to bless your enemy even while he is actively seeking to destroy you."

The source of her confusion came from a comment she made to me once. She said, "all people deserve love and respect." My heart seized up at that moment from her worldly statement. Though seemingly a beautiful thought, it was flawed in a critical way. I broke in quickly and said, "Wait, wait, wait, that's a lie. If you think everyone deserves your love and respect then you're telling me that everyone has done something to earn it from you. It is just a repayment of debt." Yet, when love increases, all good things seem to expand infinitely. This is why it can be said in the Bible of God's love that "where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

This leaves two choices: 1) Accept the love of God and know life perfected and everlasting or 2) Deny the love of God and know His fury and anger for eternity when He sends you from His presence. Scripture talks of this when it encourages us not to fear man who can destroy the body, but to fear God who can destroy both the body and the soul in hell. We are also told "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet lose his soul?" God's love is not unconditional in that it is not extended to anyone who turns it down.

Dying to save the dead

A person will die for one they love. Will a person give their life for an enemy, or someone unknown? It seems to be a rhetorical question and yet there is a remarkable answer which involves the only possible means by which the heart can learn to love unconditionally. Meditating on this concept, a friend of mine reminded me that most of Jesus' apostles died to follow Jesus. They did not die for the idea of a crucified man, but for the living reality of a resurrected Savior who loved them in spite of their sins and denials. Their lives embodied the scripture in Colossians 3:23 that states "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."

All of us, at times, look at our faith as work or actions that we must do or must refrain from. For example, as a positive work, many believe that we must tithe to the church to be faithful. Others believe in negative actions of righteousness such as avoiding alcohol. However, the radical truth of the gospel is that Christianity is not at all about what you do or don't do. It is about the works that have been done on the sinner's behalf. The apostles did not live or die for Jesus because they had to. They lived and died for him because they loved every aspect of His existence and unconditional love.



Christ does not ask us to go through anything that He Himself has not already been through. His followers were willing to give up their lives for Him who is worthy of all glory and honor. After all, He gave up His own life as God in the flesh to save their depraved and dishonorable lives. Their works were the result of a heart change that was manifested outwardly. In other words, they produced good works because what they gave honor to changed. They esteemed works in life that brought honor to God instead of self-seeking works. This is the means by which we have faith in God's kindness that leads us to repentance in order to produce works worthy of repentance!


The process of producing good works is a result of getting to know the man, Jesus Christ. Everything He undertook during His life was meant to highlight the perfect and humble love of His Father. By contrast, the people whom He confronted through His words and works often revealed the depth-less depravity of the human heart. All of His works culminated in His death on a cross where the penalty for the depravity of His faithless apostles and every sinning child of God was paid for. Christ gave His life for His enemies and those who did not desire to know Him so that they would have a change of heart that produced an unconditional love for all people. Anything that comes from such a heart is worthy of honor.

What does your religion teach? Does your life mirror this radical love? Do your works bring glory to yourself or to Jesus? To answer these questions, consider that in order to know what you want in life you must first look at what you have or how you live.

YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!

Today, I was keeping watch out in front of the school when a couple of female students I recognized went walking by. One of them was on the phone talking to the person who was going to give her a ride home. Having seen her picked up by her dad before I assumed that she was speaking to him. Now, I'd seen her be rude to him a time or two before but it was only in passing and it was nothing like the belligerence she put on display today in front of her friend.

As she was approaching, I heard her saying in a steadily harsher voice as the conversation quickly developed, "Where are you?" A moment later she spoke with a vitriolic voice and I could almost taste the poison that dripped from her tongue. Her countenance was wicked, yet gleeful, for the pain she was willingly inflicting upon her dad. She said, "We're going to Taco Bell. Pick us up there" ...short pause... "GOD DANG! YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!" Her phone slammed shut.

I was appalled and barked at her, "Hey, is that your dad you were talking to?" She gave and affirmative response and I quickly said, "That was shameful of you!" She didn't even look at me as she walked away but her friend tried to spit some sort of uncouth words my way before tapering off into a few sour glances.

I was aggravated for the duration of the morning for two reasons. Her father was to blame for setting up such lousy boundaries and she was responsible for her rebelliousness. What led to such a relationship between her and her father? A friend suggested that perhaps it was a powerful sense of guilt or shame on the part of the father. He may have done something terribly wrong to her in the past and, knowing his guilt, allowed her to get away with whatever she wanted. How terrible though. If that is the case, guilt obviously did not motivate him to love his daughter. In fact, by allowing her to live such a shameful life he was hating her.

I realized in my anger that I was not hoping for healing for the two of them so I began to pray that the Lord would reveal His loving-kindness to them. In so praying, I realized that my nature was that of the girl's to her father. I was living as an enemy to God, spitting in his face and defiling his goodness. Yet, he refused to allow me, as a wayward child, to live in such a wicked state. He was not ashamed of His own nature and He knew how to win my heart. He drew a boundary around me and said, "this far shall you fall and no further." Then He caught me in His hands and lifted me up. He taught me honesty to admit to Him my hatreds and misgivings and in so doing I learned how to trust in Him. This trust did not come simply because I could speak to Him, but because I could see His grace poured out into my heart. He did not allow me to continue to hate Him!

He called out my shameful behavior but, more than that, He rectified it. He brought light to my darkness and exposed my need. There was a dark hole in my heart that had sucked all the joy around me into it and dissolved it. In seeing this, I was left to stew in my own guilt and I KNEW that God was going to crush me. Yet, in His mercy as my perfect Father, God reached out His hands of blessing and offered to me gifts of a clear conscience, forgiveness of sin, peace of mind, kindness of heart, eternal life and a relationship with His Son forever. He simply asked me, "Have you learned your lesson?"

With my mouth wide open in astonishment, having expected judgment, I could only say, "Yes, Father. Forgive me." My life started at that point and the story I take with me from this time until Heaven will be one of praise for that gift of grace and forgiveness.

How NOT to preach the Gospel (Part 2).

In my first post of this series (a response to Mark Driscoll's tirade against abusive men), I gave some reasons to why his method is not an effective way to preach Christ's forgiveness. After meditating on how to share the Gospel with Christians who live in unrepentant sin, and arguing with some who believe Driscoll's method to be spot on, I have developed my argument more fully.

Preaching should include law and gospel (sin and grace), but where was the gospel in what Driscoll said? I'm really troubled that there are so many men in his congregation that live the way he says they do. Still, scripture, properly applied, does not simply mean yelling at people from the pulpit whether you are giving law and gospel, or not.

It is appropriate for such men who continue to live in unrepentant sin to be cast out after they have been properly confronted. A little leaven leavens the whole loaf! On the other hand, why is he not yelling at the women who stay in such abusive relationships? They are in sin that is just as revolting. Yet, the bar seems to be set abysmally low so that instead of encouraging women to be healthy and wait for godly men, he simply yells at the men for being ungodly. So how do we properly confront such people (men and women)?

Consider Matthew 18:15-17 and ask yourself if Driscoll applies it properly.

"If your brother [or sister] sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

That passage is directed towards individuals, is it not? The biblical way of pointing a man towards the grace of God is to direct him to see his sin through the lens of God's forgiving grace. This should be done firmly by showing him his fault while allowing him to know that he is still loved and supported. Importantly, loving support means that you do not accept a person living in destructive behavior. That being the case, you should send them from your midst when you gather if they don't repent.

If you preach sin and judgment without a gospel of grace and forgiveness you preach a crushing and unbearable burden upon the shoulders of people. Guilt brings death if it is not used to reveal God's love for sinners and forgiveness for them. I am concerned that many people who believe Driscoll was right in the way he addressed sin are suffering from unresolved and unrighteous anger towards abusive people.