YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!

Today, I was keeping watch out in front of the school when a couple of female students I recognized went walking by. One of them was on the phone talking to the person who was going to give her a ride home. Having seen her picked up by her dad before I assumed that she was speaking to him. Now, I'd seen her be rude to him a time or two before but it was only in passing and it was nothing like the belligerence she put on display today in front of her friend.

As she was approaching, I heard her saying in a steadily harsher voice as the conversation quickly developed, "Where are you?" A moment later she spoke with a vitriolic voice and I could almost taste the poison that dripped from her tongue. Her countenance was wicked, yet gleeful, for the pain she was willingly inflicting upon her dad. She said, "We're going to Taco Bell. Pick us up there" ...short pause... "GOD DANG! YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!" Her phone slammed shut.

I was appalled and barked at her, "Hey, is that your dad you were talking to?" She gave and affirmative response and I quickly said, "That was shameful of you!" She didn't even look at me as she walked away but her friend tried to spit some sort of uncouth words my way before tapering off into a few sour glances.

I was aggravated for the duration of the morning for two reasons. Her father was to blame for setting up such lousy boundaries and she was responsible for her rebelliousness. What led to such a relationship between her and her father? A friend suggested that perhaps it was a powerful sense of guilt or shame on the part of the father. He may have done something terribly wrong to her in the past and, knowing his guilt, allowed her to get away with whatever she wanted. How terrible though. If that is the case, guilt obviously did not motivate him to love his daughter. In fact, by allowing her to live such a shameful life he was hating her.

I realized in my anger that I was not hoping for healing for the two of them so I began to pray that the Lord would reveal His loving-kindness to them. In so praying, I realized that my nature was that of the girl's to her father. I was living as an enemy to God, spitting in his face and defiling his goodness. Yet, he refused to allow me, as a wayward child, to live in such a wicked state. He was not ashamed of His own nature and He knew how to win my heart. He drew a boundary around me and said, "this far shall you fall and no further." Then He caught me in His hands and lifted me up. He taught me honesty to admit to Him my hatreds and misgivings and in so doing I learned how to trust in Him. This trust did not come simply because I could speak to Him, but because I could see His grace poured out into my heart. He did not allow me to continue to hate Him!

He called out my shameful behavior but, more than that, He rectified it. He brought light to my darkness and exposed my need. There was a dark hole in my heart that had sucked all the joy around me into it and dissolved it. In seeing this, I was left to stew in my own guilt and I KNEW that God was going to crush me. Yet, in His mercy as my perfect Father, God reached out His hands of blessing and offered to me gifts of a clear conscience, forgiveness of sin, peace of mind, kindness of heart, eternal life and a relationship with His Son forever. He simply asked me, "Have you learned your lesson?"

With my mouth wide open in astonishment, having expected judgment, I could only say, "Yes, Father. Forgive me." My life started at that point and the story I take with me from this time until Heaven will be one of praise for that gift of grace and forgiveness.