Keeping the "relate" in relationships.

I was discussing relationships with a good friend of mine last night and we got onto the issue of deal breakers. She asked me to define them so I had to ask myself, "What sorts of character flaws are so bad that, in and of themselves, they ruin any chance of a relationship forever regardless of every other positive trait?" Philosophically, I needed a logical foundation to reinforce my question. I answered using two supporting justifications:

1) I had to determine what deficiencies I was unwilling to accept in myself to discern what I was compelled to avoid in someone. In so doing, I realized that;

2) The woman would have to be compatible with me in every important way for the best possible assurance of a LONG TERM relationship.

Thus, importantly, I should stay far away from the attraction of opposites.

To wit, I love Jesus and believe His grace, apart from works, rescues sinners from hopeless lives. Mercy triumphs over justice. Being with someone who disagreed would feel like a red-hot brand in my side. I am very good with money and take pride in the stewardship of the resources that God has given to me. Why would I choose the foolishness of being with a frivolous woman? Would a man choose to sleep under a leaky roof? I am a hard worker and find great worth in completing a job to the best of my ability. A lazy woman would be like gravel in my mouth. My political conservatism defines my view of government, so being with a woman who wants to force redistribution of wealth to "the poor" would be worse than Chinese water torture.

Put simply, to be a gracious and merciful man in marriage, responsible with my labor and its fruit, and of the belief that I have the best ability to determine how to use my life, I need a compatible woman. If I never meet her, I am content to be single because my ultimate desire for marriage is to learn to love God more and bring Him the glory of a union so absolutely amazing that even those who don't know God give Him the credit for such a miraculous affair. My relationship with Jesus is too good to squander on a terrible relationship.

My friend, thought not a Christian, found it to be a very good explanation!

Don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out.

A tolerant, open-minded, non-judgmental attitude is publicly presented as the creme de la creme of progressive secular humanism and group think. It is often represented by those bumper stickers that leave a tickle of annoyance to squirm through the back of your mind: "COEXIST" and "TOLERANCE" being the main examples wherein the letters are scrawled out as major religious symbols (i.e. the "t" is a cross, the "c" is the star and crescent). While thinking about this, I ran across a quote attributed to G.K. Chesterton: "When a Man stops believing in God he doesn't then believe in nothing, he believes anything."

...And believing in "anything" can get you killed because having true wisdom tends to shut one's mind to foolish, man-made ideologies that have no capability to save or enrich (Consider this passage from Proverbs 1). Wisdom brings life but a belief in "anything" breeds foolishness. The image below conveys the fallacy of open-mindedness and tolerance between competing and wholly different ideologies and philosophies.


I have seen quotes from Muslims and atheists that fall along the lines of "We love death more than you love life." Such people will lord their authority over those who are not willing to sacrifice their life to protect what is good and holy. Where can we find such a person? I thank God that through Jesus Christ we have such an advocate and defender. Only Jesus has the strength to save us from our enemies in this life and our final enemy which is death. All those who put their trust in Him will by no means be put to shame.

Philisophical testimony.

I have not found myself publicly blogging for over a month. This bothers me a bit but I have accepted that the Lord is simply encouraging me to bide my time and be content with the simply life He has given to me. I am writing today because I recently made a new friend who has really got my mental juices flowing.

He wrote an intriguing comment to me:

" I do not believe that we are created in god's image. I believe that god is created in our image...more precisely our deeply embedded need to deal with the "darkness outside our cave", our need to have answers to what comes after death...our fear that this is all there is and death is just that...the end. Humankind has always had a problem with The End.

For me, when I hear people say that have "faith" in this god or that goddess, I hear them really saying they have "need". A need to know the transcendent...a need for an answer that works for them, that comforts them, that allows them to get through Life, that Answers the fearful "darkness outside the cave".

Pleased with his question and my response on a generic level, I desired to immortalize the spirit of the conversation below:

I do not turn to faith out of fear of what's to come but out of hope of what I will be made into. That's a better promise than anything this vain life can give. After all, the righteous and the unrighteous alike find their end in the grave. Death is the great equalizer of all people but if we believe in nothing after it then it is impossible to truly thrive in this life. What's the point if there is no justice? The wicked see their days prolonged while the righteous end their days in misery. The thrifty give the bounty of their labor to those who did not work for it. The peaceful of heart find their end by the sword.

In other words, no hope for an afterlife (or to see Jesus face-to-face) causes us to live like hell in this life. Without Christ, our philosophy should simply be to, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!"

Any comments would be appreciated!

Hope from Budapest, Hungary.

When I was young I developed a passion for the consumption of all things World War II. I wanted to understand what I considered to be the most epic physical struggle in history. I don't remember the source, but I had heard of a family living in German occupied Budapest which the Russians were besieging during their inexorable counter offensive into the heart of Europe. They talked of how the fighting was so intense you could not go out into the streets for fear of being shot. The bullets were flying so thick down the boulevards it was like trying to push your way through a lead wall. What the civilians ended up doing was stretching lines across the streets from house to house where they could sling, slide or pull along products necessary for survival. It was a city full of misery and death.

That word picture left such an impression on my mind that it was the first thing I thought of when I saw the name of the city in this YouTube video:



I cried during the video (all 12 times I watched it today) and was so thankful for the redemption of that city and my memories of it. It is most apparently not a city on the edge of death as it once was. God will have His ultimate victory and it will be won by the smiles on children's faces and the dancing of old people. This epic war will not be won physically however, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12). The word picture in my mind now is one that points to heaven where we will all dance with perfect joy and great abandon in safety on the streets of gold in the city of God!

Update: While writing this, I found out that some of my favorite pieces of music by Antonio Vivaldi and Franz Schubert were played by the Budapest Strings.

Q'uran burnings and double standards.

A friend of mine recently posted some logical and very well-reasoned questions on the 9/11 Q'uran burning:

Ok, let me first say that I do not support burning the Quran, I am not defending this pastor, and I'm not saying this action reflects all Muslims, BUT, why is there no public outcry over actions like this: "In Afghanistan, hundreds of Afghans burned an American flag and chanted "Death to the Christians" to protest the ...planned Quran burning."??? (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/quran_burning)

So let me get this right...to protest a hateful act by one American (which is also an act of "protest" according to the pastor), HUNDREDS of members of this religion burn an entire country's flag and chant "DEATH to ALL Christians". Is it just me, or does there seem to be a double-standard here?

After a pretty extensive conversation with some other posters, my thoughts clarified with the thought that Jesus gave His life to save us from such inconsistencies of behavior and belief. I responded:

An important thing to remember about Christianity in relation to Islam is that Christians don't consider it blasphemy to burn the bible. The Word is not on paper so that human hands can destroy it. The Word became flesh in the form of Jesus... and was absolutely crushed by God for bearing the weight of our sins. So, a true Christian is one who admits the sickness in their heart, sees the wickedness of such actions, and looks to Jesus for forgiveness of their wrongdoings. After all, what is worse: Burning the written word of one religion or murdering the incarnated (enfleshed) Word and leader of another?

If Jesus was killed for His faith in the Father, why would His followers fare any better? If Christians are citizens of heaven first (which will last forever), why would we care if the flag of the nation we live in (that will pass away) is burned? Answer those questions and you will understand the double-standard and realize why, for the most part, true Christians are concerned more with the salvation of sinners and not wrongdoings perpetuated against themselves.

Christians should consider that their personal sin is responsible for the death of Jesus before calling judgment upon sinners who don't even know Jesus. That is the humility Jesus calls us to upon our repentance. This is why the Q'uran burning is foolish and why the double-standard is comprehensible.

Thoughts? Words of wisdom? Share them, please!

Look to the chickens for wisdom!

Do you have chickens? I do. They are incredibly wise creatures in their own way. They live according to their design and they never deviate from the simple existence they were created for. They wake up with the sun and go to to bed with its setting. For them this process is simple: They walk into their coop when it gets dark and walk out when the sun rises. That's it. Compare that to our sleeping habits (or lack thereof). And we think that we are wiser than such humble birds!

I work at a school and every morning a large number of the students respond to my question of how they're doing that morning with a lame "I'm tired. I didn't sleep much last night." It's almost always the same students! Look to the chickens for wisdom! But I digress.

I mention the simplicity of a chicken's life to bring up some important lessons they have taught me. Lesson one: They are absolutely, totally and completely helpless in almost every conceivable way. They can't fly but have wings to supplement a low jumping capability. They can barely run at all. They panic when endangered. Their only defense is to hide because even though they have beaks and claws, they are dull and useless and made for seeds, people! Lesson two: They fully depend on my protection. This simply means locking the door to their coop at night. If their door is not locked, the raccoons, opossums, coyotes and other night predators will come to eat them. And they will be successful in the hunt because they have nothing to fear.

Sadly, spiritually, we are exactly the same. We believe we can keep our souls safe simply by withdrawing into the shelter of whatever gives us comfort, whether it be our guns, families, religion, education, position, drugs, lusts, etc. Yet, if we place our hope in such places, we will be snatched from the comfort they provide in an instant or bound forever with their siren calls. This is simply because no good protector would ever lock his wards into such a house of cards. Only an enemy would ever seek to spring such an ambush to trap our hearts with those things that will pass away no matter how hard we hold on. Who is that enemy? We are told in scripture that "[Our] adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

My favorite chicken, eaten last week while I was gone on vacation

Where can we run to hide from such deceit? From what I wrote, if we place our hope in what we see then we are damned if we do (find peace in it) and damned if we don't. We are either trapped to rot in our comforts or chased out to be consumed by the predator. There is only one house in which to find safety and that is in the house of God! Psalm 91:1-2 states:

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.” (Chapter linked above)

There is only one Man in whom to trust when we are aimlessly wandering and chained. Matthew 9:36 states, "But when Jesus saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd." (Again, incredible chapter linked above)

But Jesus wasn't just moved with compassion for we know He acted upon it. For our final hope, we are given Isaiah 61:1 in which the Lord says of God,

"He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound..." (Linked)

So I end by saying trust in the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and He shall keep you safe and give your soul liberty.

Running doesn't bring safety.

Not even a month ago I was having extreme pain and itching on my forearms and neck. It would shatter my sleep with the sensation of white hot icepicks being driven into my flesh and nothing would cause it to relent. The itching and the pain correlated and scratching made both worse, and yet, I could. not. avoid. itching. After a short while of this, I would begin cursing and my attitude would turn bitter and resentful. A little research finally led me to the only thing that helped and that was an ice pack to deaden my nerves and help me fitfully return to sleep.

In these times, the thought passed through my mind to sell my soul to get rid of the agony (not that I have that option since God, you know, sort of owns my soul). Still, it was humiliating for me and a great cause of sorrow on my part that something so basic as an itch could bring me to my wits ends and fray my nerves so completely. The faith I spent so much time cultivating was broken quickly and the only thing holding me together was God's faithfulness.

I was reminded of Job from the Bible when he was afflicted with sores from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. His only recourse from the agony was to use a broken piece of pottery to scrape away fluids from the leaking pustules covering him. Yet, His hope in deliverance from God remained firm. He knew God to be His ultimate and only source of healing.

While I was meditating on the shallowness of my faith and lack of endurance, the thought of soldiers in trenches during World War I entered my mind. They lived with the rats and roaches, often with trench foot so bad the skin on their feet would slough off in great chunks. They were gassed and lived in full facial masks that made it almost impossible to exert oneself and breath at the same time. Enemy shelling would drive them deep underground for days at a time to the point that many soldiers would become "shell shocked" and lose control over their bodies and psyches.

What was the average soldier's response to this intense suffering? Did he leave the utter lack of comfort in the trenches for safety above ground? Did he remove his mask when he could barely breath to inhale the air outside? God no! Those soldiers knew that, though they suffered mightily in the inhumanity of the trenches, the danger out of the trenches and in the foul air was far greater. Certain death lurked in those dark shadows. Though they lived worse than brute beasts they accepted, even fatalistically, the life of suffering they were called to be in. There was no choice in the matter if they wanted to live. Their safety did not resolve around seeking comfort but in enduring a life of suffering for the promise of peace that was to come.

This was true for Job just as it is true for me and you. No one can avoid the pain in this life by running away from God who heals our pain. We are trapped in dying bodies that will suffer and die through all the pangs of that death. We are surrounded by a world that in its very nature seeks to destroy us and bring about a victory for wickedness. We are attacked on every side by demonic minions and our own convicting thoughts. In all this do we then turn to the world for solutions that it inherently cannot provide? Can the world kill us and also bring us to life? Is it wise to avoid God who is the wellspring of life? Not if you're being honest with yourself.

Our safety revolves around the only One who was able to enter into the enemy's trenches and silence their guns. He endured our agony to save us. That One is Jesus and only through trusting in Him alone are we able to come back into the light of day where the air is clean and the sun is bright. In Him alone are we able to remove the stifling masks that hid our faces for so long. It was for freedom that He set us free and only in Jesus can we live a life befitting the only creature to be made in God's image. Do not give up on God's healing for such light and transient causes of this world that is passing away. In just a little while we will finish the race of faith and enter into the heavenly courts where Jesus will look upon us face-to-face and His father will say, "Well done good and faithful servant."