Life sucks and then you die.

Where we come from is a mystery and to where we will go is unknown. The only certain thing is that from dust we were formed and to dust will our remains return. The sinner seeks justice from his oppressor and the righteous man dies of a broken heart. For what purpose does the one who seeks goodness work for? Assuredly, he will die just as the sinner. The lazy gambler loses his money in life just as the diligent worker loses it in death. Whether we tarry or hurry, the pursuit of wealth is foolish for what it purchases will decay away. To seek justice is a fool's errand for the grave will catch all in it's insatiable embrace. Whereas justice is never fulfilled, the grave is never filled. Regardless of the goodness we seek in life, at death we bequeath all things to those who did not earn them. The meaningless nature of this life is found in death.

You ask, "but what of justice? Is it not good that we seek it while we live?" Foolishness! Have you failed to examine your own heart? A man cannot live up to even the standards he strives for! We are marked by failure and deserve judgment at every step. We miss the mark of living up to God's law and prove the impossibility of living up to the law of man. Even as a law unto ourselves we are riddled with imperfection. We hate the people who murder in hatred and put them to death in our very hearts. We despise the jealous and the proud and drop the anchor of haughtiness deeply in the harbors of our souls. The secret places drip with venom and stink with the rot of death even as we polish the facade that we present to the world. We are white-washed tombs that look beautiful on the outside and contain nothing on the inside but decaying bones.

You want to judge but are already judged! Judgment brings no hope. The world knows this to be true which is why many rally around the banner of hating those who judge. Do you not see? Even in avoiding judgment we make ourselves arbiters of those who judge! If we could avoid judgment there is still no hope, for existence is joyless when wickedness goes unpunished. This is the crux of the problem we face as humans. With judgment no man escapes the murder in his own heart and without justice the murderer goes free.

Can this possibly be the end of the story for us? What is our purpose in this life and universe if all paths lead to hopelessness and death? There is only one answer and it must be found in the life, death, resurrection and ascension of the king of all creation, Jesus Christ, who came to save all men from their sins! He is the "man of sorrows" who took the corrupted mortality of this life upon Himself to be with us. He walked in life among those who were dead to Him to serve their needs and take away their distresses. He came not to judge us according to our evil ways, but to be judged though His ways were pure and faultless. Open your eyes, sinner! The judgment you deserve has fallen upon the Savior of mankind! Seek out His forgiveness! In this way only can perfect justice be established for eternity. Judgment is passed, justice prevails, and mercy and grace reign in Him who is merciful and just to forgive. All who put their trust in Him will by no means be put to shame. Death has been swallowed up in life!

Love and sacrifice.

^{Hebrews 12:2-3}
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 13:15-16
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

For the past couple months, I've been mulling over some things that happened during Christmas. I was given a deeper understanding Jesus' life while with my grandparents in Colorado. My grandpa is in his 90's and really falling apart. He's had a couple of bad falls (are there any good ones?) and his shoulder was the size of a grapefruit. His back and chest were hurting in a number of places, too. I found all this out within minutes of my arrival and my mom immediately gave me the opportunity (voluntold me) to rub pain numbing cream on his torso. Helping my grandpa in this way was definitely out of my comfort zone especially after a six-hour drive. Still, I made a joke with him that I would be willing to wash his feet also if he asked. When I said that, I was struck with the thought that, for the most part, true love does not simply encompass romance or constitute a feeling. Love is a means by which we often sacrifice our own comfort and standing in order to do what is best for others.

It wasn't my desire to rub ointment on my grandfather but when I saw the thankfulness in his eyes and accepted his profuse thanks my heart changed. God gave me a better understanding of what Christ did for all of His children. I had met his need and that was of great importance. This, in turn, helped me to appreciate all that my own mom had done for her parents. She was getting pretty worn out from spending so much time taking care of them. It was a little difficult because, in part, they realized the burden my mom and her other siblings were bearing and seemed of the mind, at times, that it might just be best to move on from this life. I'm not sure how much conviction lied behind my grandparents' words when they were briefly mentioned, but I knew that my mom needed encouragement to continue blessing her parents.

I was able to pull my mom aside one day and let her know that all she was doing was worth it. In her loving service, she was giving dignity and honor to her parents in a way that she herself had received from them when she was just a child unable to care for herself. She was also teaching her parents, who were no longer self-sufficient, that there is great honor in accepting unconditional love when it is offered. My grandparent's acceptance of my mom's free love offering returned dignity to her because, though giving a gift is wonderful, a person must still receive it with a full heart for it to have its complete value. She met their needs and comforted them and, in return, everyone was able to see the love of Jesus as though He were receiving our suffering and giving us His love at that very moment.

How football taught me to take life's hits.

For some reason, football became an important means for me to relax on the weekend this past year. It also gave me a good reason to skip my singing class on Monday night! I think I became a real fan of the sport when I read the book "Quiet Strength" by Tony Dungy. He's the former coach of both the Buccaneers and the Colts and led the Colts to a Super Bowl win. I was considering the players and the way they pump their fists and point to God when they make a touchdown or do some sort of amazing athletic feat. I'd not seen a player point to the heavens when missing a touchdown pass. A faith that does not carry a person through difficult times when they fail according to worldly standards is a faith not worth having.

I watched my two favorite teams earlier this season play against one another. It was my childhood team, the Broncos and my hometown team, the Chargers. They were playing against one another for the second time this season and the Chargers crushed the Broncos. What impressed me most about the game was what happened after the final whistle. I believe Phillip Rivers (the Chargers QB) was giving an interview about the win when I saw a large group of players from both teams behind him. Other players were sprinting up to join the group and I was excited to see that they were all kneeling on the field together praying to God. I'd never seen that before.

I was even more astonished during the Super Bowl because I was given a rare treat. I was rooting for the Colts (which turned out to be a disappointment) but I got to see the character of Matt Stover after he missed a 51-yard field goal attempt for the Colts. As he was running off the field I saw him point his index fingers to heaven and give thanks to God just for the opportunity to kick the ball. The announcer mentioned Stover's faith and how he was a man who was willing to give thanks in good and bad times.

This was actually part of a months long process of the Spirit's work in my heart that came to fruition today. I had been praying that I would be a man who had a love for God even when my plans were not bearing fruit. After more than three months of trying to get into the Escondido PD and beating out almost 300 people to make it to the final eight applicants, I was finally dropped from consideration. I was disappointed but the Lord reminded me of His goodness first and that He is my perfect and good Provider. I gave thanks to God for the opportunity to make it as far as I did and, though I wasn't ecstatic, I was thankful to have Jesus pouring out His kind comfort into my heart.

My greatest joy now is knowing that God has the power to change my heart. My only comfort comes in the relationship I have with His perfect Son and the knowledge that Jesus covers me in the shelter of His wing. For a true blessing, read Psalm 27 and ask if you too want the one thing David asked of God in His times of distress.

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek...

Sharing the Gospel with homeless people.

I've been meditating on a popular idiom that originated in the 16th century by an English farmer and writer named Thomas Tusser. He wrote, "A fool and his money are soon parted." It is oft quoted as a Bible verse (even by myself, mistakenly) but in fact is not one. The closest the Scriptures come to making this statement is found in the book of Proverbs 17 verse 16. It states, "Of what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no desire to get wisdom?" Tusser must have been thinking of that particular passage when he wrote down his famous bit of popular wisdom.

My reason for pondering these truths began last Monday when a couple of homeless women named Tommy and Marcy approached me asking for a couple bucks to get themselves dinner. They had supposedly not eaten for two days. After some brief conversation I said I could do better than that and took them to the nearest restaurant for some hot food on the condition that I eat with them. I chuckled in the line and made the comment to Tommy that I had been praying for opportunities to be generous.

After we sat down, I asked them for a favor. They accepted and I said, "Do you know Jesus?" They gave me the deer in the headlights look (which I expected) and I laughed and told them that I just wanted to pray for the meal in His name. The weight of religion was immediately lifted from their shoulders and they broke out into wide grins and chortling laughter and said that they would LOVE to pray with me! They extended their hands out to me and I thanked God for His grace, compassion, goodness, mercy and provision. When we released hands, I chuckled again and mentioned the looks on their faces. I told them that I could "totally understand" why they were nervous.

We feasted, buffet style, for about 30 minutes, at which point I had to take off. We packed up the left-overs for them and I asked if I could take them anywhere for blankets or anything else they might need. Tommy started crying and Marcy soon followed and they just started giving me hug after hug after hug. It was an experience. They told me that they needed to do their laundry because the deluge of rain the previous week had soaked all their clothes and blankets (this is where my foolishness entered the picture). I gave them enough money to do their laundry and quite a bit beyond that. I didn't even bother to think that they were homeless because they were probably irresponsible with money. They started crying even more and thanked me for the money with hugs and smiles.

Still, God is able to redeem even foolishness with His amazing grace. Wanting to have the opportunity to share the love of God with them again I asked if we could meet at the same place on Friday evening. They agreed and the time was set...for precisely when I was supposed to be getting to my second job! I don't know how I forgot about that one. My mind was obviously on other things. That proved to be providential, however, seeing as a young man should probably not be meeting up with a couple of homeless women. The Lord offered me a great opportunity through my own lack of organization and foolishness!

When Friday rolled around, I stopped by a (cheap) hole-in-the-wall Mexican food joint and bought a couple orders of rolled tacos for them. I drove to our meeting point and, right at 5 pm, saw Tommy on the corner. I got out of my car with the food and walked over to her. It was great to see her again! Marcy was not there because she was apparently sick. I said that I had stupidly organized our meet up during work hours and gave her the food. I also gave to her a card for my church which providentially was right down the street and invited her to show up on Sunday morning if she wanted help to get back on her feet. I mentioned that I could understand the vicious cycle of trying to work as a homeless person. She had no home, no convenient bathroom facilities to clean up, no decent clothes, etc. She indicated that she would show up because her lifestyle was "getting old" but only if I promised to be there. She basically made me promise three times.

We'll see if Tommy and Marcy truly want help and are able to make it some Sunday morning. What a blessing from God that would be! In the meantime, I am considering the truth behind a few other amazing Scriptures and have determined that I am thankful, even in my foolishness, for I would rather part with my money temporarily and learn the goodness of God more greatly because of it. I will not have the same lack of wisdom again! I desire only to know God more. Here are those Scriptures:

Proverbs 16:16 - "How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver!"

Luke 12:15 - "Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

Matthew 7:7-8 - "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

Attractive prayers.

I called a good friend of mine tonight and she immediately said to me, "I was just going to call you!" I asked her why and she responded by telling me that she wanted my prayers for her mom. My heart was really touched by her trust in me. She told me about her mom and I gratefully and wholeheartedly accepted her request for prayer.

She is not a Christian but she knows that I am and finds my faith to be ultra-radical. Because of this, I said that I didn't understand why she wanted me to pray for her mom since we didn't share the same faith. As we continued talking, some insights came to mind and I expressed them to her. I explained that I believed God to be a very jealous and angry God in the sense that He alone is worthy of our supplications. He made the world and everything in it. Why would the true God want His own creation to pray to a false god that had not given it life? As the saying goes, don't bite the hand that feeds you. For the biblical allegory, read this.

I told my friend that I too fought with God tooth and nail over these concepts when I was first drawn to Him. How could God hate anything? Why would God despise the prayers of those who pray to other gods? Isn't it simply their way of finding truth and seeking blessings? Wisdom came to me when I understood that the motivation behind God's jealousy and anger is what sets those emotions apart. Being the owner of my body and soul, God is jealous to keep me in His possession. Those things that seek to steal me from His grace give Him righteous cause to be angry. His jealousy and anger are, therefor, motivated by love to protect what is rightfully His. He will destroy those things that deny His children the full experience of His great glory!

I told her that I would never ask a Buddhist to pray for me simply because a Buddhist is not honoring the One God with their prayers. She was surprised but admitted that my argument did make logical sense...if actually true. I brought to her attention that, even though she found my beliefs to be radical (and wrong), by her request she saw something to be desired; something incredibly attractive bound up in those very prayers she asked me to present to God. By contrast, according to my explanation of the meaning behind prayer (to honor the One who gives us breath to pray), I could find no value in prayers that are offered to other gods. Ultimately, I suggested that my prayers are attractive because of the One who is represented in them.

I pray everyday that she, and all who hunger and thirst for righteousness, will be filled.

Suffering argument.

In response to a comment I posted from my previous post, a friend wrote to me some meaningful words that spoke to an explanation I left out from my thoughts:

"Not to argue against your thought, but to broaden your perspective - God created us with body and soul, and He recreates His elect, body and soul. Even the damned will suffer eternal torment in body and soul. Of course I agree that temproal suffering is nothing compared with the punishment or rewards that will follow for eternity."

Yes, the body and the soul are important and God loves both aspects of our beings. He created us to have both. Yet, when we have an indestructible soul that inhabits a body of death God must use what will be shaken (this body and our world) to reveal His unshakable kingdom. I responded by writing:

"Suffering for the Christian leads to perseverance and hope that Christ will come again to take our pain away and give us new life. I was only trying to imply that these bodies are temporary, but our souls are eternal. God uses the temporary and its passing to encourage a longing to be with Him forever in peace.

"For instance, Moses called for bread (Manna) from Heaven and brought water from a rock in the ground to provide food and water to alleviate his people's suffering in the flesh. They ate and drank, but were not satisfied. Christ calls Himself the "bread from Heaven" and the "water of life" that, when taken just one time, cause us to never hunger or thirst again.

Though we will die, God does provide for our physical needs, but in order to point to His spiritual blessings that never pass away."

If you read this, do you have any thoughts you would like to comment upon?

The disaster in Haiti (a biblical understanding).

An amazing friend whom God has blessed me to have in my life asked me a question about the earthquake in Haiti and all the suffering that is taking place there. She does not know Christ and yet she desires to ask me about my faith and understanding of this world. She wants to examine, as best as possible, the lens through which I see my world. I believe that my view must be attractive to her in some regards...even if it is only to marvel at my thoughts as one would marvel at a circus freak.

Her question was stated more as a thought: "so about the earthquake. in haiti. my heart aches . . . . i'm curious what your thoughts are about it. about the suffering."

She left it at that.

My response to her was as follows: "

"Christianity does not promise a lack of suffering. However, it does explain why it exists and it offers a solution by bringing hope to a world that has none.

"God never says that His children will suffer less because they have faith in Him. He says that they will suffer just as His own Son suffered, but that suffering will produce the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control).

"God uses suffering to show us that this world is a shadow that is passing. He's not so much concerned with our bodies that suffer from lack of food or water so much as He is concerned about our souls that suffer from being separated from His love."

Her reply? A simple "I....don't....know...what to say."

So I gave her some words to pray to Jesus; words one would say to an intimate friend in asking them for truth and wisdom. I said that if she presents herself to God in humility then He will incline His ear to her and delight in her prayer. What other religion offers a God who would do that for messed up people like us?

She left me with profuse thanks, calling me a dear friend and stating that my words mean more to her than I will ever know. What a remarkable conversation with a friend! Jesus is so good! If you are reading this, please pray for her. I won't give her name but I am faithful that God holds it in the palm of His hand.