Running doesn't bring safety.

Not even a month ago I was having extreme pain and itching on my forearms and neck. It would shatter my sleep with the sensation of white hot icepicks being driven into my flesh and nothing would cause it to relent. The itching and the pain correlated and scratching made both worse, and yet, I could. not. avoid. itching. After a short while of this, I would begin cursing and my attitude would turn bitter and resentful. A little research finally led me to the only thing that helped and that was an ice pack to deaden my nerves and help me fitfully return to sleep.

In these times, the thought passed through my mind to sell my soul to get rid of the agony (not that I have that option since God, you know, sort of owns my soul). Still, it was humiliating for me and a great cause of sorrow on my part that something so basic as an itch could bring me to my wits ends and fray my nerves so completely. The faith I spent so much time cultivating was broken quickly and the only thing holding me together was God's faithfulness.

I was reminded of Job from the Bible when he was afflicted with sores from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. His only recourse from the agony was to use a broken piece of pottery to scrape away fluids from the leaking pustules covering him. Yet, His hope in deliverance from God remained firm. He knew God to be His ultimate and only source of healing.

While I was meditating on the shallowness of my faith and lack of endurance, the thought of soldiers in trenches during World War I entered my mind. They lived with the rats and roaches, often with trench foot so bad the skin on their feet would slough off in great chunks. They were gassed and lived in full facial masks that made it almost impossible to exert oneself and breath at the same time. Enemy shelling would drive them deep underground for days at a time to the point that many soldiers would become "shell shocked" and lose control over their bodies and psyches.

What was the average soldier's response to this intense suffering? Did he leave the utter lack of comfort in the trenches for safety above ground? Did he remove his mask when he could barely breath to inhale the air outside? God no! Those soldiers knew that, though they suffered mightily in the inhumanity of the trenches, the danger out of the trenches and in the foul air was far greater. Certain death lurked in those dark shadows. Though they lived worse than brute beasts they accepted, even fatalistically, the life of suffering they were called to be in. There was no choice in the matter if they wanted to live. Their safety did not resolve around seeking comfort but in enduring a life of suffering for the promise of peace that was to come.

This was true for Job just as it is true for me and you. No one can avoid the pain in this life by running away from God who heals our pain. We are trapped in dying bodies that will suffer and die through all the pangs of that death. We are surrounded by a world that in its very nature seeks to destroy us and bring about a victory for wickedness. We are attacked on every side by demonic minions and our own convicting thoughts. In all this do we then turn to the world for solutions that it inherently cannot provide? Can the world kill us and also bring us to life? Is it wise to avoid God who is the wellspring of life? Not if you're being honest with yourself.

Our safety revolves around the only One who was able to enter into the enemy's trenches and silence their guns. He endured our agony to save us. That One is Jesus and only through trusting in Him alone are we able to come back into the light of day where the air is clean and the sun is bright. In Him alone are we able to remove the stifling masks that hid our faces for so long. It was for freedom that He set us free and only in Jesus can we live a life befitting the only creature to be made in God's image. Do not give up on God's healing for such light and transient causes of this world that is passing away. In just a little while we will finish the race of faith and enter into the heavenly courts where Jesus will look upon us face-to-face and His father will say, "Well done good and faithful servant."

My favorite chicken, Dot.

Proverbs 12:10
"A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal."


Chickens are such helpless and adorable animals. My friends got Dot around the time I came to know the Lord six years ago, so we both had our true beginnings at about the same time. She had very white feathers in her young years and one brown dot on a wing. Thus, she got the name Dot. She has always been one of the first to run over to me when I stop by to say hi to "my girls" and often lets me pet her. She does this hilarious low-crawl/duck walk as the presses herself to the ground and tries to waddle around under my hand.

About a year ago she developed a large growth on her left breast and we were worried she was going to die, but she is a trooper and pulled through. Sadly, it has come back and she can barely stand up to get to the food and water dishes. I try to hand feed her in the enclosure but the other girls are jealous and voraciously attack the food in my hand. I've had to pick her up and take her out of the cage while cradling her swollen bosom in my hand to keep her from hurting. She lets me sit her in my lap while she takes a few nibbles at the greens I give her and then she falls asleep. I wish I could heal her and keep her alive forever.

One of the younger girls. As you can see, she looks crazy and she has this very retarded, throaty cluck so I call her "Crazy-eyes McCluck."

It's so strange for me to feel so much emotion for such a "worthless" creature. I mean, it's a chicken for Christ-sake! Still, I'm so troubled by my own helplessness and inability to keep her safe and well. She's probably going to die in the next few days and I have to watch her do it. I have to watch as she struggles to come say hi when I visit the cage. She stands up on her wobbly feet and takes a step or two before slowly sinking back down to earth on legs that no longer support her greatly diminished and pained frame. It hurts my heart.

I've come to see life and death in a slightly different light during all of this. When I picked Dot up and gently cradled her in my arms I understood to a new depth of my being God's love for His helpless creation. He cradles me in His arms when I am weak, feeds me when I am hungry, nurses me back to health when I am sick and comforts me in my distress. Apart from my understanding, He loves me when He owes me no such thing in my broken and dying state. At the same time, I owe Dot no debt of love as she slowly winds down her brief dance of life to face the eternity of death. Yet, God, who has the power of creation at His fingertips is able to breath life into bodily frames that are suffering from death. He breathed life into me so that I could experience the hope of the life to come. How could I not love a simple and needy animal like Dot when God gave life to a simple and needy creature like me?

Ironically, in a way, a dying chicken has been able to teach me a valuable truth about life, death and my Father in heaven who has walked me through every step of my short, 27 year journey. I know that because He loves me I am heading toward a destination that will never fail to bring me joy and peace because I will be with Jesus who healed me from my sin and saved me from the judgment it deserved. I hope that you, too, can develop a love for all of God's creation simply because and amazing God created and loves it.

Every morning, I stand guard in front of the high school and observe what is happening. For a hectic thirty minutes, parents, students and visitors all converge on one entry point into the school while navigating the dangers of one of the most busy streets in Escondido. I see the faces of hundreds of those who are young and old, of every race and almost every creed and get an intimate glimpse into their personal lives for the slightest of moments. I see suffering and sadness, happiness and joy, laughter, lethargy and disgust. Sometimes, I see occupants crying.

Often, I see parents and their children fighting intensely with one another only to pull up to the curb, open the door and go about their day as if everything is all right. The mask goes up and the defenses are fortified. The fake smile waxes brilliant or the stoic face buries the pain. Yet, the eyes are the gateway to the soul and at these times I consider my brief glimpse and wonder at the pain. To know the fullness of its depth would be too great for me to bear.

The pain I feel when I see the outward appearance of a person is nothing compared to the pain God knows when He looks at the heart. The pain I see is for but a moment, but the pain God sees is intimate and perfect in understanding and depth. He did not shy away from it or wring His hands in despair when He encountered it. From His throne in the heavens, He looked upon His lost sheep scattered to the four corners of the earth and it did not please Him that they would be lost and suffer forever. Thus, He gave us His Son to come to the earth and experience our agony and the shame of our sin in order that He might defeat it and bury our sadness in the overwhelming joy of eternal life that He alone can lead us into.

There is hope at the end of the tunnel. We see it as a dim light and know that we will soon emerge into the brightness of joy perfected at the other end. For but a little while longer, we must endure this present suffering in order to share the peace and joy that the Lord has promised to those who will call Him Father. The light is always the most pronounced in the greatest darkness and that light is the light of the Lord. In His light there is hope for He is the King of the Universe! He is the God of this city! He is the King of this people! He's the Lord of this nation! He's the peace to the restless! He's the hope to the hopeless! He's the Light in the darkness!

"This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." ~1 John 5:3-5