The latest school shooting.

I was talking about the elementary school massacre with my parents tonight, heard my voice rise, felt my anger mounting and sensed my frustration spilling over. So I did what any man will do. I talked about what's wrong with "the system". I broke down, point by point, why the system is inadequate to protect our children.

"Our schools are 'gun free'" the system says! "But that only applies to those who choose to obey it," I reply.

"We have 100% ID check in the front office of the campus," boasts the system! "But what of those who have no intention of revealing their identity?"

"We've developed new 'lock down' procedures to keep the bad people out," we hear. "But doesn't that only go into effect once the bad people are in?"

I remembered my time as a security guard at Escondido Charter High School. Some students and parents would never trust me with a weapon. It was hard enough to carry pepper spray without having to justify myself. The word "security" on my back felt more like a target, at times. Then I would see the Brinks armored car drive up. Two serious looking men with guns strapped to their hips were always present. So I started to question more. Why do we trust security to protect our money that is only worth as much as people believe it to be worth? Why don't we trust guards to be armed around our children who are priceless and have inherent worth? The logical questions from there were, what do we value? Are our priorities mixed up?

These thoughts didn't help me. Well, they certainly "helped" my sense of helplessness. The children in Connecticut are dead. I can't bring them back. Their families are far away. I can't provide them comfort. The murderer is finished. I could not kill him. I could offer no protection against him.

So I found that the real source of my anger was not "the system" but my impotence. My inability to affect change. My incapacity to provide comfort. Where do I go from here? Then I remembered. I recalled why I stayed at the high school for so many years. I was not there to protect. I was not there to comfort. I was not there to exact vengeance. I was not there to save. No, I was there to point those kids to who their protection was. Who the provider of their comfort and hope could be. Who the avenger of those who had visited iniquity upon them was. The man who is the wellspring of salvation and forgiver of sins. The lover of our souls. The living God. Jesus.

I can't destroy the evil that took so many young lives today but I know the God who can. Vengeance is His and He will have it. Most importantly, comfort is in Him and He will give it. We are His children and He loves our souls far more than we could ever love the souls of those children who perished today. We have the proof of His love too. We have so much sin. Someone had to die for it. God came down to earth as a fragile human and died for our sins in our place so that we might turn to Him and love Him and know that, though this life will end, we will live forever with Jesus and all who put their trust in Him. If we believe that then we can know that the evil this man committed himself to today will be used by God, somehow, for good. In the end, love wins.

My favorite chicken, Dot.

Proverbs 12:10
"A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal."


Chickens are such helpless and adorable animals. My friends got Dot around the time I came to know the Lord six years ago, so we both had our true beginnings at about the same time. She had very white feathers in her young years and one brown dot on a wing. Thus, she got the name Dot. She has always been one of the first to run over to me when I stop by to say hi to "my girls" and often lets me pet her. She does this hilarious low-crawl/duck walk as the presses herself to the ground and tries to waddle around under my hand.

About a year ago she developed a large growth on her left breast and we were worried she was going to die, but she is a trooper and pulled through. Sadly, it has come back and she can barely stand up to get to the food and water dishes. I try to hand feed her in the enclosure but the other girls are jealous and voraciously attack the food in my hand. I've had to pick her up and take her out of the cage while cradling her swollen bosom in my hand to keep her from hurting. She lets me sit her in my lap while she takes a few nibbles at the greens I give her and then she falls asleep. I wish I could heal her and keep her alive forever.

One of the younger girls. As you can see, she looks crazy and she has this very retarded, throaty cluck so I call her "Crazy-eyes McCluck."

It's so strange for me to feel so much emotion for such a "worthless" creature. I mean, it's a chicken for Christ-sake! Still, I'm so troubled by my own helplessness and inability to keep her safe and well. She's probably going to die in the next few days and I have to watch her do it. I have to watch as she struggles to come say hi when I visit the cage. She stands up on her wobbly feet and takes a step or two before slowly sinking back down to earth on legs that no longer support her greatly diminished and pained frame. It hurts my heart.

I've come to see life and death in a slightly different light during all of this. When I picked Dot up and gently cradled her in my arms I understood to a new depth of my being God's love for His helpless creation. He cradles me in His arms when I am weak, feeds me when I am hungry, nurses me back to health when I am sick and comforts me in my distress. Apart from my understanding, He loves me when He owes me no such thing in my broken and dying state. At the same time, I owe Dot no debt of love as she slowly winds down her brief dance of life to face the eternity of death. Yet, God, who has the power of creation at His fingertips is able to breath life into bodily frames that are suffering from death. He breathed life into me so that I could experience the hope of the life to come. How could I not love a simple and needy animal like Dot when God gave life to a simple and needy creature like me?

Ironically, in a way, a dying chicken has been able to teach me a valuable truth about life, death and my Father in heaven who has walked me through every step of my short, 27 year journey. I know that because He loves me I am heading toward a destination that will never fail to bring me joy and peace because I will be with Jesus who healed me from my sin and saved me from the judgment it deserved. I hope that you, too, can develop a love for all of God's creation simply because and amazing God created and loves it.