"Our schools are 'gun free'" the system says! "But that only applies to those who choose to obey it," I reply.
"We have 100% ID check in the front office of the campus," boasts the system! "But what of those who have no intention of revealing their identity?"
"We've developed new 'lock down' procedures to keep the bad people out," we hear. "But doesn't that only go into effect once the bad people are in?"
I remembered my time as a security guard at Escondido Charter High School. Some students and parents would never trust me with a weapon. It was hard enough to carry pepper spray without having to justify myself. The word "security" on my back felt more like a target, at times. Then I would see the Brinks armored car drive up. Two serious looking men with guns strapped to their hips were always present. So I started to question more. Why do we trust security to protect our money that is only worth as much as people believe it to be worth? Why don't we trust guards to be armed around our children who are priceless and have inherent worth? The logical questions from there were, what do we value? Are our priorities mixed up?
These thoughts didn't help me. Well, they certainly "helped" my sense of helplessness. The children in Connecticut are dead. I can't bring them back. Their families are far away. I can't provide them comfort. The murderer is finished. I could not kill him. I could offer no protection against him.
So I found that the real source of my anger was not "the system" but my impotence. My inability to affect change. My incapacity to provide comfort. Where do I go from here? Then I remembered. I recalled why I stayed at the high school for so many years. I was not there to protect. I was not there to comfort. I was not there to exact vengeance. I was not there to save. No, I was there to point those kids to who their protection was. Who the provider of their comfort and hope could be. Who the avenger of those who had visited iniquity upon them was. The man who is the wellspring of salvation and forgiver of sins. The lover of our souls. The living God. Jesus.
I can't destroy the evil that took so many young lives today but I know the God who can. Vengeance is His and He will have it. Most importantly, comfort is in Him and He will give it. We are His children and He loves our souls far more than we could ever love the souls of those children who perished today. We have the proof of His love too. We have so much sin. Someone had to die for it. God came down to earth as a fragile human and died for our sins in our place so that we might turn to Him and love Him and know that, though this life will end, we will live forever with Jesus and all who put their trust in Him. If we believe that then we can know that the evil this man committed himself to today will be used by God, somehow, for good. In the end, love wins.
