Keeping the "relate" in relationships.

I was discussing relationships with a good friend of mine last night and we got onto the issue of deal breakers. She asked me to define them so I had to ask myself, "What sorts of character flaws are so bad that, in and of themselves, they ruin any chance of a relationship forever regardless of every other positive trait?" Philosophically, I needed a logical foundation to reinforce my question. I answered using two supporting justifications:

1) I had to determine what deficiencies I was unwilling to accept in myself to discern what I was compelled to avoid in someone. In so doing, I realized that;

2) The woman would have to be compatible with me in every important way for the best possible assurance of a LONG TERM relationship.

Thus, importantly, I should stay far away from the attraction of opposites.

To wit, I love Jesus and believe His grace, apart from works, rescues sinners from hopeless lives. Mercy triumphs over justice. Being with someone who disagreed would feel like a red-hot brand in my side. I am very good with money and take pride in the stewardship of the resources that God has given to me. Why would I choose the foolishness of being with a frivolous woman? Would a man choose to sleep under a leaky roof? I am a hard worker and find great worth in completing a job to the best of my ability. A lazy woman would be like gravel in my mouth. My political conservatism defines my view of government, so being with a woman who wants to force redistribution of wealth to "the poor" would be worse than Chinese water torture.

Put simply, to be a gracious and merciful man in marriage, responsible with my labor and its fruit, and of the belief that I have the best ability to determine how to use my life, I need a compatible woman. If I never meet her, I am content to be single because my ultimate desire for marriage is to learn to love God more and bring Him the glory of a union so absolutely amazing that even those who don't know God give Him the credit for such a miraculous affair. My relationship with Jesus is too good to squander on a terrible relationship.

My friend, thought not a Christian, found it to be a very good explanation!

Don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out.

A tolerant, open-minded, non-judgmental attitude is publicly presented as the creme de la creme of progressive secular humanism and group think. It is often represented by those bumper stickers that leave a tickle of annoyance to squirm through the back of your mind: "COEXIST" and "TOLERANCE" being the main examples wherein the letters are scrawled out as major religious symbols (i.e. the "t" is a cross, the "c" is the star and crescent). While thinking about this, I ran across a quote attributed to G.K. Chesterton: "When a Man stops believing in God he doesn't then believe in nothing, he believes anything."

...And believing in "anything" can get you killed because having true wisdom tends to shut one's mind to foolish, man-made ideologies that have no capability to save or enrich (Consider this passage from Proverbs 1). Wisdom brings life but a belief in "anything" breeds foolishness. The image below conveys the fallacy of open-mindedness and tolerance between competing and wholly different ideologies and philosophies.


I have seen quotes from Muslims and atheists that fall along the lines of "We love death more than you love life." Such people will lord their authority over those who are not willing to sacrifice their life to protect what is good and holy. Where can we find such a person? I thank God that through Jesus Christ we have such an advocate and defender. Only Jesus has the strength to save us from our enemies in this life and our final enemy which is death. All those who put their trust in Him will by no means be put to shame.

Philisophical testimony.

I have not found myself publicly blogging for over a month. This bothers me a bit but I have accepted that the Lord is simply encouraging me to bide my time and be content with the simply life He has given to me. I am writing today because I recently made a new friend who has really got my mental juices flowing.

He wrote an intriguing comment to me:

" I do not believe that we are created in god's image. I believe that god is created in our image...more precisely our deeply embedded need to deal with the "darkness outside our cave", our need to have answers to what comes after death...our fear that this is all there is and death is just that...the end. Humankind has always had a problem with The End.

For me, when I hear people say that have "faith" in this god or that goddess, I hear them really saying they have "need". A need to know the transcendent...a need for an answer that works for them, that comforts them, that allows them to get through Life, that Answers the fearful "darkness outside the cave".

Pleased with his question and my response on a generic level, I desired to immortalize the spirit of the conversation below:

I do not turn to faith out of fear of what's to come but out of hope of what I will be made into. That's a better promise than anything this vain life can give. After all, the righteous and the unrighteous alike find their end in the grave. Death is the great equalizer of all people but if we believe in nothing after it then it is impossible to truly thrive in this life. What's the point if there is no justice? The wicked see their days prolonged while the righteous end their days in misery. The thrifty give the bounty of their labor to those who did not work for it. The peaceful of heart find their end by the sword.

In other words, no hope for an afterlife (or to see Jesus face-to-face) causes us to live like hell in this life. Without Christ, our philosophy should simply be to, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!"

Any comments would be appreciated!