What is "the look"?

This morning, at the high school I work at, I got what I call "the look." It happens at times when I catch the eye of a student. It consists also of a strange, relentless walk in which the destination is known but the journey is hesitant. It's almost a stagger with a zigzagging gait. It's the look of a person who is drawn to something outside of themselves. As a person, I am the destination but what they are drawn to is the love of Christ.

The student makes her way to me in this fashion and we strike up a conversation. Of course, I know full well where the conversation is going. It is where it always goes when I get "the look", namely, the love of Jesus. Always, these students are having home problems that, in some form or other, I have witnessed or been told of. In this particular instance, I had seen the girl crying after being shouted down by her mother over the phone the previous morning.

As she plants her feet on the concrete in front of me, I ask her how she and her mother are doing. "Not too well" she says, "and I'm feeling anxious and depressed." I let her know that I understand where she is coming from, having struggled mightily with depression in the past. I told her that the root of depression was anger turned inward and repressed. It was the result of unresolved issues and false expectations. I said that anxiety and depression were the byproducts of knowing, subconsciously, that I could never meet the expectations of others.

I asked her if she would have any reason to be anxious or depressed if she knew that she was loved unconditionally by God. "Would you be anxious about the expectations of other people if you really understood that you are approved by God already?" I asked. "Do you understand that you are beautiful and perfect in His eyes? Do you believe that He loved you before the world was created and knit you together in your mother's womb?" She nodded her head with approval and a smile and I sent her on her way to class after a few more minutes of conversation.

To all who are struggling with feelings of worthlessness and shame, depression and anxiety (as this young lady was) know that God's expectations for you have already been met perfectly in Christ. You are not made to perform before people but to be approved of by God alone. No matter what you do, there is no possible way that God could ever be disappointed in you as His child. Certainly, He may be disappointed in your actions! Still, the foundation of His love for you is the completed work of Christ on the cross. God even said, "This is my Son in whom I am well-pleased."

Whatever you fail in does not give your Father in heaven cause to love you less and whatever you succeed in does not give Him cause to love you more. His love is not based on your performance, but in His undeserved grace. As Hebrews 10:14 says, "For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified."

What kind of survivor are you?

Here are some quotes and videos of Gianna Jessen, an abortion survivor:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn from the weakest among us. And when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses. The Lord looks after them... It is the mercy of God that sustains you, even when you hate Him."

"Men: You are made for greatness. You are made to stand up and be men. You are made to defend women and children; not stand by and turn your head when you know murder is occurring and you do nothing about it. You are not made to use women and leave us alone. You are made to be kind and great and gracious and strong and stand for something because men, listen to me, I am too tired to do your job."

"Women: You are not made for abuse. You are not made to sit and not know your worth and your value. You are made to be fought for...forever. So now is your moment: what sort of people will you be? I trust Incredible."

"Politicians: You are made for greatness, now set your politics aside."

Socialism is stupid.

I attended the Escondido Tea Party today and after some debate with a few people about it online I had a few thoughts. In relation to a supposed survey by The Times that stated that people hate Socialism and yet desire medicare and social security when they retire, I wrote:

People aren't stupid. If they can get something for free they will usually go for it regardless of their principles. The problem is that we all continue to accept free "benefits" at the expense of others. If you work diligently in order to pay someone else to live off of you, you will no longer work so hard...especially if you can live off of another person's diligence! The enticing lie behind Socialism is that it sounds good in theory but destroys the spirit in practice.

Prayer request (updated)

We received word at the school of the latest news of our student Daniel. Please keep him in your prayers. Here is the latest word from his mother:

Dear family and friends,

Daniel’s journey has only begun it seems. Thankfully, the spinal tap went well with very little discomfort. Today was rough, however, as Daniel dealt with the effects of downing barium sulfate in prep for the CT scan.

The difficult news to share is that we received a call from the neurologist who reported the CT scan revealed multiple 3mm nodules in the lungs as well as a cubic inch mass in the area of the thymus which is most likely a thymoma. He said it is important to get Daniel strong enough so a pulmonologist can test/treat the nodules and that Daniel can (most likely) have the thymoma removed. Hopefully, we will get Daniel started on IV immunoglobulin infusions (2 hr/day for 5 days) on Thursday as that should help him regain strength. (The effect lasts about a month.)

We are finally getting answers…they are just hard ones to swallow. Daniel continues to be brave and trusting. All of us wish we could give him our strength, trade places, but wonder if we could handle it anywhere as well as he is.

It is of great encouragement and comfort knowing that you will be faithful to pray as God leads. We are indeed standing in the need of healing and an hour-by-hour, pressing-into-God kind of faith.

Dana and Becky

Daniel, Grace, Caleb, Delcy

Prayer request

Two weeks ago, a student a the high school I work at suddenly started having muscular problems. We just received this note from the mother of the student:

Dear family and friends,

God has been answering prayer. We asked that the neurologist would have wisdom, diligence, and a sense of urgency in getting to the bottom of this. We have seen that to be the case. After the EMG on Thursday, Dr. Sajagian was pretty confident Daniel has Lambert-Eaton Myasthenic Syndrome (LEMS), a neuromuscular transmission disorder. The “textbook” EMG results plus the symptoms/progression are consistent with this rare (especially in young people) syndrome. A specialized blood test needs to be done for an actual confirmation. There is concern, however, about how long that might take and what the underlying cause might be. Hopefully, the spinal tap on Monday and the fluoroscopy CAT scan on Tuesday will help determine the cause. The treatment options include plasmapheresis and/or IV immunoglobulin. Because of Daniel’s steady decline in muscle strength, he was started on medication to hopefully keep it in check. As we try to understand what is going on with Daniel and the possible outcomes, we continue to look to God for healing, direction, continual shoring up of our spirits and quelling of fears.

Since Sunday’s prayer time we have seen God’s mercy in so many ways. Here are some of them…

• The many, kind encouragements and assurances of prayer.
• Daniel’s sense of humor and upbeat spirit.
• Willing siblings who gladly participated in the big job of changing out rooms so Daniel can be downstairs.
• On Tuesday, a friend bringing us a very nice wheelchair the very day Daniel said he would need one. (The doctor suggested it on Monday, but Daniel wasn’t so sure.)
• Good buds at school who are looking after our Daniel, pushing him from class to class, decorating his wheelchair. (One sweet girl even attached a sign so Daniel wouldn’t have to continually answer questions, including “If you have the urge, you may push me to my next class.” J)
• A yummy meal arriving on a very full, tiring Tuesday.
• Carpool friends who are doing more than their fair share.
• The “coincidental” connection with the friend of a friend whose son was treated by the same neurologist. His physician father affirmed that Sahagian is known as “the best.”
• The focused prayer at Wednesday’s youth group. It was beautiful to watch Daniel Perumal deflect all attention from his own big news (accepted into the Air Force Academy!) to make sure that our Daniel was loved and supported.
• After 3+ hours at the neurologist on Thursday, arriving home to a fabulous dinner prepared by our dear Aunt Annette and Uncle Donnie. They have the gift of making any occasion special. It was just what we all needed to turn our hearts away from fears and worries.
• The promises and perspectives of the Word!

Your continued prayers are much valued as we walk this road. This week we are seeking God for…

• Peace and protection as Daniel undergoes more uncomfortable tests. (This last week’s 3+ hours in the MRI machine was a challenge!)
• Wisdom in decision making.
• Progress towards completely healing.
• Faith to confidently trust God that He is fulfilling His purposes.

So thankful for your coming alongside,

Dana and Becky